Do's & Don'ts

Do

• Give priority to the survivor's safety - explore ways of maximising their safety whether they decide to leave their partner or not.
• Take them seriously and believe what you are being told.
• Respond positively and give support.
• Take their fears seriously, their life may be in danger.
• Tell them the violence is not their fault.
• Let them know that they are not alone and that they can always see you again.
• Find out what they want to do and help them achieve this.
• Bear in mind that they may have been exposed to racism, and language and cultural barriers.
• Respect their wishes and accept their decisions.
• Explore the options available to them and talk them through.
• Keep in contact if possible.
• Recognise how difficult it is to leave.
• Provide an interpreter, where required, who is not a family member.

Don't

• Tell them what they should do next
• Try solving all of their problems - the decisions are theirs alone.
• Pressurise them into agreeing to action which they are uncomfortable with.
• Make choices for them.
• Be sceptical.
• Be judgemental of their actions and choices.
• Ask them what they did to provoke the violence.
• Give up on them because they haven't taken your advice or they go back to their partner or they turn up again and again.