Planning to Leave

Sometimes women have to leave their home in a hurry.  It is possible to plan for such a leaving and making a safety plan is a way of feeling more in control and knowing what support you have.

Steps that you could use

1. Tell neighbours, family and friends about the abuse and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious noises or haven't heard from you as expected.

2. Find somewhere you can quickly and easily use a phone e.g. neighbour, friend, work etc.

3. Make and carry with you a list of numbers for an emergency. Include friends, relatives, local police, schools, the National Helpline for example. Even well known numbers can be forgotten in a panic.

4. Keep a record or diary of incidents as they happen to ensure that you don't forget and for future evidence if needed. Keep this in a safe place, perhaps with a friend.

5. When violence begins avoid areas of the house where the risk could be even greater such as the kitchen (potential weapons) or bathrooms (no exit).

6. Try to save some money for bus, train, taxi fares or other expenses.

7. Have an extra set of keys made for the car.

8. Keep the keys, money and a set of clothes for you and the children packed ready in a bag that you can quickly take with you and keep this in a safe place.

9. If possible, depending on their age, talk to your children about their own safety and about the possibility of having to leave.

If you have more time to plan leaving, do as much as possible of the following:

• Leave when the abuser is not around
• Take your legal and financial papers, including where relevant marriage and birth certificates, court orders, passports, driving licences, national health cards, benefit books, bank books, cheque books, credit cards etc.
• Take any of your personal possessions which have sentimental value.
• Take favourite toys for the children.
• Take clothing for at least several days.
• Take any medicine you or your children might need.

If you do leave and later discover you have left something behind, you can arrange for the protection of a police escort to return home to collect it. Remember most items can be replaced.

Always make sure that it is safe to leave making sure that you are not followed and your whereabouts are not traced.

Remember

You are not alone

What happened was not your fault

There are lots of people who can help