What Can I Do about Domestic Abuse?

Everyone has the right to be safe in their own home and to live free from abuse, violence, threats and fear. There are things you can do to change your life and support services available to help you.

You are Not Alone

Research shows that:

• as many as one in three women and one in six men experience abuse in their relationship;
• on average there will have been thirty five assaults before the police are called;
• the police receive a call from the public for assistance about domestic abuse every minute in the UK;
• domestic abuse claims the lives of 2 women a week.

You are not to blame

You are not responsible for the abuse.  There is never an excuse for the abuser's behaviour.  Domestic abuse is learned and intentional behaviour.  Abusers often avoid taking responsibility for their behaviour by blaming the violence on someone or something else.  Responsibility lies solely with the abuser.

You cannot change your abuser's behaviour

Whatever form it takes, domestic abuse is rarely a one-off incident.  It is usually a pattern of abusive and controlling behaviour through which the abuser seeks power over their victim.  Domestic abuse is repetitive, life-threatening and can destroy people's lives.  Domestic abuse can begin at any stage of a relationship.  It occurs in dating relationships and may continue after the relationship has ended.  30% of domestic abuse starts during pregnancy. 

Breaking the Silence

There is nothing to be ashamed of.  Don't keep the violence or abuse a secret.  Talk to someone you trust or contact one of the organisations listed in the handbook or on the website.  Getting information and support can help you to cope better and feel less isolated.

Every woman's situation is different and you may face many problems with your particular circumstances but these can be overcome.  Tell a friend or relative or just ask for help from any of the agencies on this website.